Despite my constant anxiety, I tend to be rather accommodating to others’ needs. I’m not sure if it is because I’m always worried that I’m inadequate or I’m genuinely worried for other people. In any case, my boundaries can be flexible.
…until the world proves once again how callous it can be.
Recent events in my life leave me reflecting on not only my boundaries, but also the importance of respecting said boundaries to create a safe environment for everyone.
It starts when we are young children and told that “Sharing is caring.” This, without proper context, leaves children to feel that they’re entitled to whatever another child has. We feel pressured to share things that we may not have wanted to share. Many times, the item or idea shared is tarnished by those who did not have the same regard as us.
In the end, these lessons follow into adulthood. We either become more “selfish” or “selfless”. Those of us who become “selfish” tend to keep things close to ourselves and rarely let anyone close. Others become “selfless” because we worry about being seen as one of the “selfish.”
Lately, I’ve been more adamant about my boundaries. It is hard to not give in to the pressure but I know that I do not want to continue pushing myself to my limits with little reward. I have had enough of that kind of life.
I don’t want to continue living a life not my own.
If it means saying an empathetic “No” once in a while, it’s a step in the right direction.
The Lapis Lounge 